19/12/2015

Voices

Fatima My Writing Author, dark times, fbwriting Confused, hope, illness, Life, loss, lost, poem, poetry, thoughts, words, Writer, Writing 0 Comments

No matter how much you try, one day you will become emotional. This is when you are so grateful for having a mother. 

Voices

These are the voices in your head.

They fight against each other, 
each trying to prove they are right.

How will I survive? 
I don’t want to be reliant on anyone.
No! God will help me, 
He will look after me.

But, it will eat away you slowly, 
The other voice responds.
So? So what? I can handle it, I shout. No no, the voice in my head shouts.

Your white blood cells are no longer your friends, 
They’re scarring your nerves, another laughs.

No longer is it a fight for the loudest thought.
No. 
Now it is just taunts from all angles.

‘Don’t go down without a fight,’ you were taught.
Eyes tightly closed, hands in your hair, all tangled.

I will write, until my last breath, 
My voice screams, somewhere in my mind.

Oh? So you will, but you already are reliant, it mocks.
No I’m not, I respond. No, I’m not, at least not yet. They’re just being kind.
Why? 
Why are you bringing this up again? I feel the tear drops.

The voices begin to shout once again.

You take medicines one shouts, 
You will become a burden!
You’re not fit, you’re not healthy,
The medication will only ease the pain.

‘No!’ No longer a shout in your head. I am not insane.

Trust, patience and belief,

These are the three words that will bring you relief.

© Fatima Begum