It’s Time…

… to write another blog post. I know I haven’t written a post for some time now. I’ve been posting up my ‘creative writing’ – well I had began writing a story based on my Manager’s nightmare. Quite crazy really.

Welcome to My Confusing LifeBut, I thought, today I’d write about how I feel. My thoughts, emotions, life. Not something I’d do.





I’ve basically been suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. Well, that was what I was diagnosed with last year. I could go in depth with what I mean by ‘roller coaster’, but in the most simplest form, it involved, various emotions: tears in front of the MS nurses, random patients, family (in front and hiding), friends – somehow seem to make you break down and smile at the same time, tears on the bus where a stranger tries to cheer you up (some people are just amazing), tears in front of the consultant. Just loads and loads of tears, which grew from the fact that NO ONE contacted me to explain anything, rather it was me CONSTANTLY calling up to book an appointment. Grew from the fact that since I didn’t have anyone to talk to this about, to inform me about what MS was, naturally, I turned to the Internet. Patients have been told to never look things up on the net – it’ll scare us. This is where I smile – what choice did I have?

So, yes, tears. Lately, I have been smiling, the constant bugging paid off in one sense, I guess. But the NHS seriously need to sort their act out. It’s very easy to dip in to depression nowadays, especially vulnerable who have no one to turn to. I’m just glad I had a family that came together, when I needed them most, otherwise, I know I would not be smiling about how messy my life is right now.

Let’s see it from my angle:

  1. End of 2011, I started feeling these tingly sensations between my left thumb and index finger (had to google search just to be sure if ‘forefinger’ and ‘index finger’ were the same!).
  2. So book an appointment GP – cannot remember what exactly our conversation was. But, he put on a referral to Charring Cross Hospital.
  3. For some reason, I’m in the ‘Plastic Surgery’ department – talked over my issue, as you do of course, to a consultant (I think she was a consultant). Nothing much she can do except write everything down and book another appointment.
  4. Come back two weeks later, re-tell everything. They think it may be Carpal tunnel syndrome (wow I completely forgot about that!). More info can be found here. Just remember the word ‘think’.
  5. Come back again, now a different consultant. Points out that it could be a strain. He used to do heavy lifting when he worked at WH Smith. So, provided me with a wrist band to keep my wrist straight. MRI scan also booked and appointments to see the Occupational Therapist.
  6. Trip to MRI department for wrist, trip to Occupational therapist once a week.
  7. Back to Plastic Surgery, told the computers were down, to go upstairs to collect my data and come back….ok…a patient who pays her taxes being told to get her own results and then….wait for it….come back down with nothing, wait in line, seen and told they have nothing so to come back next week – system should work by them…hmm…
  8. Still in 2012, still going to work, still going to the hospital, now getting frustrated.
  9. By now, the MRI scan showed nothing, yet still occupational therapy and discussion of Carpal tunnel syndrome, by now, I also found it hard to hold things with my left hand.
  10. Back at Charring Cross, as usual, seen by a different consultant (AGAIN!). Now it gets more interesting..


Shall continue in the next post….trust me, it gets a lot more interesting….

I’ll explain the rest on the next post. Life’s confusing, so keep smiling!

(typed but not checked)

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