Chapter One: Me


‘Where are you?’ I said to myself, as I rummaged through the contents of my side bag.

Although the day was nice, it was strange that no one was around to enjoy it. ‘I’m here, the grass is fresh and litter-free, a clear light blue sky, and birds tweeting away, but I cannot enjoy it at all. Where is it?’ I continued questioning myself aloud.

Picking up my bag, I emptied the contents onto the wooden bench whilst mumbling one foul word after another. Then there it was. A black coin gleamed at me beneath my little hand mirror. Is that even possible? Gleaming?

Ignoring my thoughts, I picked it up and rubbed it between my fingers.

‘Finally you call me!’ A soft voice grumbled from behind me. Of course I didn’t jump; after all it was I who called him, or do I say rubbed him? I felt a warm wind whip behind my head as he, I assume that is, fluttered his wings.

‘Hello, Blueberry,’ I said while concentrating on picking up and dropping everything back into my bag. ‘Or should I change your name today?’ I asked in passing.

‘Look at me first, and then you, yourself, can decide. I’ll say ‘disagree’ if the name doesn’t attract me,’ he replied. ‘But where did Blueberry come from?’

After zipping up my bag, I turned around and just sat there staring at him. When I finally noticed that I was gawping, I instantly converted my mouth into a big smile. ‘Wow. Just wow,’ I whispered. Blinking a few times, I shook my head and simply stated, ‘But I’m still going to call you Blueberry. I like the idea of shortening it to Blue.’ I gave him a wink and stood up. I needed to take a step back. Being too close to him wouldn’t do.

‘Yes, ok. However, I’m only agreeing because it’s you. Although, why not Bill or Jonathan? It could be Billy, John, Johnny, no?’ He asked, as he rubbed off the remaining dust off his clothes. ‘What do you keep in your bag?’ He added, as he straightened his blazer.

‘You know, I’m actually thinking of calling you Kratos again. Shorten it to Kray,’ I mentioned, more so out of deep thought than to him and ignored his last question. He doesn’t need to know. The content of a lady’s bag defines who she is.

‘Hmm, the Greek God? I’m liking that thought of yours. Call me Kratos from now on. God of strength and power,’ he said, with a look of interest. ‘Ok, fine, yes, I did look up what, or rather, who ‘Kratos’ was,’ added he, whilst flicking off an imaginary lint from his arm. ‘Only because it sounded good when you first called me by that name,’ he muttered.

Yes, Kray it is. I missed that name. ‘There’s nothing on your arm, Kray,’ I responded with a grin. ‘Besides, ‘Bill’ or ‘Jonny’ or what else you had on your mind, are just too boring and not original at all,’ I added.

‘Alright then. Anyway, now tell me how I look today, Lil,’ ignoring my response, he asked in an off-handed manner. Although he was concentrating more so on his well manicured fingernails, I knew his attention was on me. Do they all look like him?

‘Well,’ I started off my examination; walking around the bench and then circling him. ‘I really do like your outfit, today. I mean, I know your black wings are soft, but now they look soft, of course. So soft, that I could run my hands down them all day,’ I said, while moving forward and sliding my hand down his soft wings. I couldn’t but be awed by the beauty of his wings. Powerful, yet gentle at the same time. I stood and soaked up its beauty, soaked up his beauty.

‘Remember, Lily, I said don’t?’ He moved back, slightly.

‘Love the fact that you’re wearing a black suit, slim fit and a smooth black shirt. Oh, and of course the thin red tie,’ I continued, whilst, again, ignoring his response and sliding my palm down his chest. ‘In short, you look delicious,’ I concluded. But he was right, I needed to control myself.

It was easy to ignore his words, but, not so easy when concerning physical features. My hand moved slowly up to his cheek. I gazed up at him. Such soft cheeks. I tangled my other hand amongst his hair. Again, so soft. Lightly tugging his hair, I heard him groan as his head tilted upwards.

He took a hold of both my wrists, and calmly removed them off him. I was still gazing up at him as he brushed his lips onto my palms. Yes, I felt his tongue. Dropping them, once again, he took a step back. This time, he shut his eyes tightly and sighed. I felt my breathing deepen and my heart speed up. Strange. I could feel him fighting for control. God, I, myself, was trying to push down this unusual emotion that suddenly decided to burst within me.

Opening his eyes, Kray stood there looking down at me, holding his breath and waiting for my verdict. The word ‘delicious’ brought a grin to his face. That smooth, soft, pale face with a sharp jaw attracted my full attention. Although, it was his dark, enticing eyes, which were surrounded by a thick layer of black lashes that got me weak.

He walked forward and hugged me tightly. He was back in control.

‘Let’s go,’ was all he said. Neither a ‘Thank you Lil,’ nor any comments on my silky long, straight black hair, or my green eyes were made.  Not even one word on my own outfit.  Well, for some reason I was wearing a light, floral summer dress, long enough to just pass my knees. My pink buttoned up cardigan revealed my slim figure. I was forced to carry a small black bag today, I assume, due to my mid-high black heels. But did he mention anything? No!

I even went as far as painting my long lashes with a coat of mascara, and took a step further by perfecting my eyeliner, in order to make my eyes stand out. All for him! Hmm, was it all for him though? I couldn’t help thinking. I pushed all these thoughts to the back of my head. But, why not make any mention of my actions. Was I seducing him?

‘Today feels a little different, Kray,’ I said as I picked up my laptop bag and hung it over my right shoulder, instantly feeling the pressure on my chest. Wait. My chest? Should I not have felt it on my shoulder? And why today, how long have I been here for?

‘How so?’ he asked, flicking his eyes down at me as we walked.

‘I don’t know. It just feels like things are going to change. You know the answer to everything, Kray. So please tell me, why do I feel like you’re going to leave me?’ I asked. No, I pleaded. I didn’t like this feeling. It felt empty. I’m not sure if it was the weight from my laptop, or the fact that people weren’t about, but this sudden feeling was not welcoming. ‘Tell me, Kray. Why? You’re not going to leave me, are you? And where exactly are we going?’

I continued looking around, but still didn’t seem to come across anyone. I could hear the birds tweeting, although I could not help but question where exactly they were. The sky was blue, an indescribable blue, covered with whitish clouds. Words, such as beautiful, wonderful and amazing popped into my head.

But, seriously, where were the birds? This wasn’t the Land of Oz, where the path was made of yellow bricks. It was normal gravel. There were no buildings. It was just decorated with wonderful, yet unusual trees. A deserted park, with an endless pathway.

Ok, fine, I can’t make a judgement based on a little walk. I tried to direct my attention back to Kray.

Lily, pull yourself out of your own little, ‘world, right, Lily?’ Kray finished.

‘Stop reading my thoughts. It’s not fair. I’m allowed to read your thoughts, no? I mean like, well, you can read mine. Without my permission, I may add,’ I stated, confidently. Confidence and me? Impossible!

Kray just smiled. He lifted my hand, and placed his warm, smooth lips on it. Can someone actually melt by that simple action?

God, I was questioning myself a bit too much.

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