The Risks Involved

I felt her soft lips on mine. I expected her to open up, to melt into my arms and wrap her arms around my neck. What I did not expect was her to push me against the door and turn away. She walked back to her bedside.

Standing speechless, I tried to fathom what had occurred. Blinking out of my state of shock, I pushed myself off the door, and followed her in two simple strides. I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me. For some reason, I didn’t like the idea of her walking away from me. It was funny because I had done it to her before, without a second thought.

I felt her back hit my chest and gasp. Well, she should not have pulled me in and then walked away before I even got a taste. I wrapped my arms around her tight. ‘What are you doing to me?’ I asked. Desire had not left my eyes. It was all a blur and all I wanted was to have her in my arms, taste her lips, taste anything else she was willing to offer me.

She dug her nails into me, but I felt nothing. Try having your wings trimmed and watch it bleed. So, naturally, I didn’t budge, rather, I held her closer.

Loosening my grip, I twisted her around and locked one arm around her back. I just needed to look into her eyes. 

Looking up at me, she screwed her eyes. ‘Let me go. I swear, I will ruin that beautiful face of yours,’ she said.

I moved my head back slightly, ‘Oh, so you think I’m beautiful?’

‘Obviously you are, you’re an angel,’ rolling her eyes, she stated. ‘Now let me go. Find someone on your level because I can’t make you love me,’ she looked away. My stomach tightened. If only she knew.

‘Lily, don’t hide your feelings. Please, don’t hide them,’ my mouth was out of control. I tried to heed to Daniel’s advice, but it was not going to work. I knew it wouldn’t, as soon as it left his lips. Did he know that too? My small lapse of concentration was enough for Lily to untangle herself from my embrace. She tried to walk away, but I pulled her back. It was too easy. I didn’t care anymore. If I die, I’ll die on my own terms. That was my last thought before I attacked her lips.

I wanted to prove that angels could love. That we were willing to die for what normal people would die for. After all, what was life without Lily? Life?

Our tongues were tangled, but it frustrated me that I couldn’t get closer.

It wasn’t until she touched my face that I noticed that my hands had become heavy. They slid down her body. This made Lily stop and pull back slightly.

‘Kray, what happened?’ She was clearly confused as I.

I took a step back. Shocked, I didn’t realise that this was going to happen. Would I lose control of all my limbs?

‘Sorry Lil, I need to go,’ I stated and rushed out before she could respond. I needed to find Daniel.

The hospital was in full swing: nurses running left and right; patients being wheeled in or complaining about waiting times; bright light and the noise. Ignoring everything and everyone, I sprinted down the corridor until I noticed him by the desk.

‘Daniel, what are you doing here?’ I asked with surprise.

Daniel raised his eyebrows and sent me a quizzical look. ‘I do do my own paper work. I’m not that bad,’ he looked back down at his papers and continued on crossing and ticking the boxes.

I screwed my eyes, curious at his paperwork. ‘What are they for? I’ve taken care of all the paperwork for Lily,’ I asked.

‘Oh, she’s here,’ he replied with a frown, still refusing to look up. ‘So what’s wrong?’ He added.

‘Huh? What?’ I could only push out. My mind was jumping around, trying to work out who she was, whilst my eyes continued to focus on his paperwork. Then it hit me. Why was she here? ‘Daniel, did you call her?’

Daniel lay his pen down slowly on the counter and looked up at me. ‘Kray, what is wrong? You just came running in here, I assume, looking for me? Ignore all this,’ he gestured and started putting the papers into a file. ‘Now, tell me. Is it your wings? Or, is it Lily, again,’ he seemed frustrated. Slightly agitated too.

I snapped my head up and heard a distant crack. I couldn’t help but notice the look Daniel was parting on me. It was Lily, and he knew it. That was when my mind reeled back to the scene. The kiss; the emotions; the hunger and then… ‘My arms, Daniel,’ I thrust my arms out towards him.

Daniel looked down at my arms and raised an eyebrow. ‘What exactly am I looking at, Kray? If it’s your arms, they seem perfectly fine to me.’

‘What?’ I looked down at my own arms. ‘But…’ I stood there speechless and let my arms drop to my side. I tried to form a sentence.

Daniel walked around the desk towards me and took a hold of my right arm. Lifting it up, he looked back at me. There was something different about him. I could sense something had changed.

‘Kray, did you meet her?’ He whispered.

‘Yes. But what’s wrong? Why are you whispering?’ I had completely forgotten about my reason for tracking him down in the first place.

‘Do you wish to die? Kray, is it your goal to destroy yourself?’ He continued to whisper.

‘No. Yes. I don’t know,’ I dropped to my knees. ‘My arms just suddenly went numb. I couldn’t feel them. Yes, I did touch her face,’ I said. For some reason I didn’t want to look into his eyes, so I continued looking down at the floor. Maybe, because I left ‘kissing’ out of it?

‘And, how is she now?’

‘I don’t know. Wait, you don’t believe that any of this could happen, right? That love would lead to my destruction, right?’ I asked, remembering his question.

‘No. No, I don’t believe in all this destruction. But I have been pondering over it.’ He reached over to his desk and picked up a sheet from the file. Looking down at it, he skimmed his eyes across each paragraph. ‘I have been reacquainting myself with the rules,’ he murmured, more to himself than to me. I could feel his eyes on me again. ‘I do believe that there may be side effects. Kray, today was your arms, tomorrow could be your legs,’ he sighed heavily.

‘Reacquainting?’ I asked. I built enough confidence to look straight into his eyes. ‘Why?’ He, too, was hiding something.

‘Leave her, Kray. I’ve had to look through the rules because of her.’

‘Daniel, just explain yourself,’ I was tired.

‘Kray, someone is coming so I’ve had to double check over everything before, well you know,’ Daniel was clearly annoyed.

I stood up and placed my hand on his shoulder. ‘Look, Daniel, I’m here,’ I calmly reassured him as everything started dawning upon me.

‘I don’t want a repeat of last time. Kray, I can’t deal with it,’ he was frowning again.

‘It won’t be like last time, Daniel. I’m here, remember? When will she come?’

‘I’m not sure. Soon I hope. Get it over and done with. Don’t fall for Lily. Don’t risk it,’ Daniel replied.

‘O.K, I’ll keep it a strictly patient-doctor relationship.’ I will at least try.

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