Love and Death

‘Kray, wait, listen,’ I heard Daniel cry, as he attempted to catch up with me. I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. My hands were shaking; my mind was jumbled with the events that had just taken place; and the emotions that had burst out of thin air, was driving me to the brink of insanity.

‘I’m a Guardian Angel!’ I stamped my foot on the ground. ‘Emotions do NOT exist in my world!’

‘Maybe not yours, but in Lily’s world, it does. This is not your world, it is Lily’s. The sooner you accept that, the better it will be for you,’ Daniel said, through heavy breaths.

‘Well, I have decided that I no longer want to look over her,’ turning to him, I dropped to my knees. ‘It’s just too much. I want to protect not love. Love is dangerous,’ I stated, softly.

‘Love is what you make of it,’ Daniel responded. He placed his hand on my shoulder. ‘I tried to make her back off, I did not want to see you break like this. However, I had no idea that she’d do this,’ he added.

I rubbed my face, and tried to think clearly. I may have overreacted and Malayka definitely had a hand in all of this. It was still hard to take in. My best friend being kissed by a girl that I was prepared to die for, was too much. How else was I to act? Lily. That was when I noticed her. She stood near the Entrance, looking out.

‘Kray, we need to talk,’ she said. She avoided my gaze.

‘Lily, what is left to talk about?’ I responded.

‘Lily, just leave. We’ll sort you out with another doctor,’ Daniel was trying to take control of the conversation.

‘Daniel, you mean a Guardian Angel,’ she corrected him.

‘No, I mean a doctor. Where are the angels?’ He asked.

‘Do not even attempt to play that trick on me again. I am not crazy.’

Malayka had found her way to the park. I tilted my head towards the light. The smile had disappeared. Her face held a scowl. She was angry. I could see the sparks of red emanating from her body. Her face was fixated on Lily. It seemed as if she was waiting for Lily to make her next move. Would Lily come towards me? I looked over at Lily, and my question was answered. She had decided to stand next to Daniel.

‘Kray, please believe me, it was not my intention to hurt you. I was more concerned about you,’ she tried to justify herself, once again.

‘Oh so you claim,’ I drawled. I couldn’t bear to look at her.

‘Stop trying to defend your actions, Lily,’ Malayka interrupted.

‘Defend? Kray, listen to the voice of reason!’ She exclaimed, not once taking her eyes off me.

Malayka had walked to my side and began rubbing my shoulders. She was determined to make Lily jealous. I tried to shrug her off, my emotions were already tipped upside down, and I could not handle anymore.

‘I know it hurts. It’s still raw, but, it will disappear in time,’ Malayka soothed. My head had dipped down and all I could do was allow my tears to flow. All the anger had disappeared, my hands were no longer in tight fists. I felt lost and empty.

‘Leave him,’ Daniel said harshly. He pushed her wrist off of me and tried to pull me up.

‘We have feelings, Daniel. We actually do,’ I muttered to him.

‘Yes you do. Although, I don’t love you, Kray,’ Lily croaked. She had covered her face with her hands.

I snatched my arm from Daniel, and stalked towards her. Frustration resurfaced and anger had returned. I gripped her shoulders and shook her roughly. Words were no longer sweet, smiles no longer lifted one’s mood, and happiness did not exist! ‘Then, why are you crying? Why the tears, Lily?!’ I cried. ‘Why, Lily, why? You wanted me to fall in love with you?’ I dropped my hands to my side and took a step back, ‘Well done, Lily, at least you’ve succeeded in that. I am in love with you,’ arms wide open, I mockingly declared.

Daniel held a solemn look about him. Malayka had turned her back on me. Lily remained in front of me. Wide eyes, she looked vulnerable. My hands etched to embrace her, to forgive her. However, the stabbing pain, the hurt and the voices continued to swirl inside of me. I will, with open arms, admit that my judgement had been clouded. But, I blame purely on one word, ’emotions.’ What right did I have to feel? I was created to protect a person, not to fall in love and get angry. I was not created to throw accusations or hurt the person who broke me apart.

I walked to Malayka and tapped her shoulder. Turning to me, she held out her hand. I suddenly saw sadness in her eyes, but, it was gone within a flash. She gave me a tentative smile, ‘Are you ready?’

Although Daniel had his head down, I could feel the sense of helplessness flowing out of him. Would he mourn? He surrounded himself with darkness. It was a type of darkness that, no matter how much anyone tried, I knew that they would not be able to get rid of it. I had gone through it too. ‘Please, Kray,’ I heard his whisper, ever so lightly.

I began to shake inside. Was it worth it all? This is what emotions and feelings can do to one. If you accept the brightness, you must also accept the darkness that follows. If you want to fall in love, then you must be prepared to face the consequences. You need to be prepared to fight the obstacles in your way. I sincerely believed that this love story was in fact a love story. I believed that Lily and I could walk pass all this, face it together and get through it. But, it turned out that the love was coming from one side alone. If she was not ready to face the obstacles, then who was I to push her? I shook my head.

‘Kray?’ I looked up at Lily. She no longer held tears. Good, this would make things easier. ‘You said that you would never leave me. You can’t leave me like this,’ she seemed adamant.

I could not help but grin at her tone. ‘Lily, we aren’t there. We are here. I’m not leaving you, you’re leaving me,’ I said. ‘I’m letting you free.’

‘Free? Free from what? I want to go back to the other world. I want to stay there,’ she started walking towards me.

I passed on my final smile. It lacked the usual effect. ‘I’m sorry, Lily, I’m sorry. Just see it this way: this is all a dream,’ I finally whispered. Closing my eyes, I gripped Malayka’s hand, ‘Malayka?’ I didn’t need to say anything, I could feel the burning.

‘Kray!’ Lily shrieked.

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