This was a love story. Nothing more, nothing less. Love stories have a happy ending. It’s just all the drama in between that the characters have to get through. Lily and I will get through this.
I rushed through the entrance, in search of Lily. She was leaning against the lamp, with her eyes closed. The light breeze just added to the scene in front of me. I walked up to her and lightly tapped her shoulder.
‘Kray, I know it’s you,’ she responded calmly.
‘Lily, we need to talk,’ I said.
‘No we don’t. Just leave me for some time. I don’t want to wake up.’
‘Wake up?’ I asked.
‘From this dream. This way, the real world doesn’t exist,’ crossing her arms, she smiled.
‘Lily, listen, I want to talk about us. Just open your eyes,’ I was starting to get annoyed. Patience was not my friend today.
She slowly opened her eyes, but kept her gaze to the ground. ‘Listen, Kray, it wouldn’t work out between us. This is not a break up,’ Lily gave an awkward chuckle.
‘No?’ I asked.
She suddenly looked up. It was still dark outside, but signs that dawn would be upon us was clear.
‘No?’ I pushed on. I had caught her attention and I could feel the side of my lips tip upwards.
‘Well, it’s- it’s- it’s not,’ she stuttered. Her eyes were wide and I knew that no matter how hard she tried, she would not be able to divert her gaze. I wouldn’t let her.
‘Lily, you’re stuttering. What’s wrong? Are you nervous? So, tell me, why is it not a break up?’ My gaze bored into her.
‘We were never one from the start, Kray,’ she whispered.
I grabbed her elbow and pulled her into my chest. She was fighting for control, both physically and mentally. The feeling of such strong emotions cannot disappear within a day. One could easily confuse love with lust. But, no one will stay in such a confused stage for so long. No one.
‘Then, why did you kiss me? Why, Lily?’ My heated breath fluttered her lashes. ‘You cannot come into my world and then leave. You can’t just do that. I will not let you do that!’ I hissed.
‘Kray, please. Please, let me go,’ Lily began pleading. ‘I don’t love you. Why don’t you just believe that? Why are you making this harder than it is? Just leave and forget me.’
‘Lily,’ I began, ‘If only it was that easy.’
I pulled her closer, her lips inches away from mine.
‘You’re hurting me Kray,’ she attempted to loosen her hand from my grip. No. This time, she will listen to me. She needed to feel my pain.
‘And you’re hurting me!’ I fired back. ‘You’re hurting me, right here,’ I emphasised each point by punching my chest. The part that protected my heart. But, why bother protecting broken pieces and do we angels actually have a heart? Loosening my grip, I let go of her hand and removed my gaze.
She turned to go, but I caught her arm and pulled her back. I felt her flinch at my grip. I no longer cared if she experienced any physical pain. Those days were over.
‘I’ve had enough of this pain. My heart has cried enough,’ I whispered, softly, into her ear. ‘I want to think about the future. Think about my future. A future without you,’ I continued.
I could see the shock in her face. She wanted me to move on and forget about her, yet here she was, standing shocked at my acceptance.
‘But that doesn’t mean that I’ll forget my past. It doesn’t mean that I’ll forget you,’ I tightened my grip. ‘No. It doesn’t mean I will, because I can’t forget you!’ I inhaled deeply, ‘No matter how hard I try, I can’t forget you. Do you know why?’ I asked.
She shook her head, tears still tracing down, ‘Why?’
I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards me. ‘I do not want to forget you!’ I shouted. ‘I won’t forget you!’ Holding up her arm, I traced my finger down her scars. ‘See these scars, I healed? They will remind you of me. It will be my mark. Those marks will tell you, everyday, that you belong to me. That you are mine!’
Letting her go, roughly, I watched her stumble slightly. This time I won’t be her Guardian Angel and protect her. If she wanted someone else, then she could get someone else. Love is brutal, and one’s heart is fragile. I realised all that now. My wings pushed through my shirt, ripping the back.
‘Kray. Kray, come back,’ she called, as I walked away. I refused to look back. With more force than necessary, I pushed the doors open and walked into the building. The tears had won. I felt them sliding down. There was a mixture of anger and emptiness in me. I swiped the tears and tried to control my emotions. She’d be gone soon. Another patient would be thrown my way. Life was better without love!
As I pulled my shirt off, I noticed a shadow walking away from the window.