‘Lily, are you awake,’ Kray asked, as he pushed the door open.
I slowly turned around to Kray’s voice. ‘No, you’re not here. I refuse to believe that you’re here.’ He wasn’t there. How can he be, if he isn’t real?
‘Listen Lil, it is me. I’m here for you. I’m here to make you better. I am your doctor at the end of the day, right?’ Kray asked, not taking his eyes off me as he spoke.
‘You sound more like Kray, now,’ I replied.
‘I was different before? Look Lil, you know nothing can happen between us. I’m a doctor, you’re my patient, and I broke the patient-doctor rule,’ Kray simply stated. Did he really think that I would accept that excuse?
‘Kray, you kissed me. Where are your wings?’ I turned my face towards Kray, in order to gain a full view of him.
Leaning against the door panel, he crossed his arms and sent me a quizzical look. ‘Sorry Lil, I’m slightly confused here. Are you alright?’
‘I’m perfectly fine. I am simply asking where your wings are. You had wings. You’re supposed to protect me. You’re my Guardian Angel,’ I responded, with some urgency. I needed to know that he was real.
‘Firstly, don’t look at me like that Lil,’ Kray grinned. ‘Secondly, Lily, you were involved in an accident. I’m not an angel, I’m your doctor.’ He walked towards the bed and held my hand, ‘Yes, I did kiss you. But don’t worry, it won’t happen again.’
As he made a move, I grabbed his hands tightly and shook my head, ‘No you are not leaving me again. I listened to the voices and ended up here.’ I attempted to pull him closer, ‘You’re not really going to leave me, are you? This is just a dream right? I’ll fall asleep and wake up with you in my arms, right? Kray? Kray, talk to me!’
Kray removed my hands off himself. He refused to look into my eyes. That was when I knew something was wrong. Kray? The doctor? The angel? My Guardian Angel, afraid to look into my eyes?
‘Lily, don’t shout.’ I, myself, cringed at his set of words. I wanted to enter his mind and read, understand, even feel, what was going on. But the words hurt and I knew that he knew it hurt me. What hurt most was the fact that he continued on.
‘What has happened to you?’ I swiped the treacherous tears that had begun sliding down. ‘I did not dream all this. You are an angel with soft black wings. I did not imagine it!’ I pushed him away and started pacing by my bed.
No, these feelings are real. He is real. I was involved in an accident of some kind. However, if that was the case, why did I not feel any pain? I had tried to peel off the scabs on my arms, but hadn’t felt a single prick. I looked at the scars on my arms. This was not normal.
Kray had taken a seat, leaning forward; I could feel his eyes following my every step. His grey eyes narrowed slightly as I came to a halt and turned to him.
Grey. Or was it blue? They were covered with thick, black lashes. Whether he closed his eyes, or opened them, he could attract attention. It was a crime for any being to have such eyes.
I noticed a slight tip of his lips. He knew what I was thinking. He knew.
‘I’m trying to think what…’ I trailed off. How he managed to do that to me, I will never be able to answer. I had forgotten my anger. Why was I angry? And why was he looking at me so intensely? ‘So many questions!’ I shouted at him. I slid my fingers through my hair, suddenly aware of my state. I was covered up, yet, I felt exposed.
Kray sat up straight and smiled once again. ‘Let me explain everything. You were involved in an accident. You ended up in hospital, intensive care, for some time. I came in earlier and kissed you.’
‘-Don’t worry about the kiss. It meant nothing,’ he waved off the issue. ‘Anyway, you look better. You’ll be out of here in no time,’ he said. ‘And, you’ll be far away from me,’ he added. I could hear the bitterness in his tone.
‘Alright, I was involved in an accident, you’re not an angel, and you don’t have wings. But how do you explain the black feathers, underneath the bed? How about the crack on the wall? It definitely wasn’t me,’ I ticked each question off my fingers. Forget the state of my dress, my hair, the strange pull. I just wanted him to answer my questions.
He was lost for words. I could hear him curse himself silently. Yes, he seemed to have overlooked the crack.
‘Yes, Dr Kray, that’s what violence, does,’ I said.
His face remained expressionless.
Removing his eyes from the crack, he turned back to me. ‘I’m not sure where that came from or who created it, Lily. Black feathers? Clearly, the cleaners haven’t been in. I shall have some words with them,’ one lie after another, pouring out of his mouth.
Once again, he turned to leave.
Taking a gamble of whether I was strong enough, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I pushed him against the door and held onto him. And once again, he stood speechless.
‘I know you’re an angel. I will let you leave, I won’t run after you, but, I need to know why you are lying to me?’ I asked, softly this time.
Kray looked down at me, eyes focused on my lips. ‘Lily, stop it with all this nonsense,’ he breathed out.
I just didn’t understand him. Why did I seem like the crazy one? Did I really have a dream? There were feathers on the floor, but how did that mean that he was an angel? I felt like such a fool, and the worse thing was, I was bringing it on to myself. He hadn’t needed to state anything. If only I hadn’t fallen back asleep. But, then, did I wake up in the first place? What if this was a dream?
I looked up at him. Although he towered over me, his eyes remained fixed on my lips. I knew that if I stretched a little more, I could catch his lips. I allowed my eyes to close, whilst waiting for his lips to come down.
His lips touched mine, ever so lightly.